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The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief album. 1973

On side one, track five of The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief album, you'll find a cut called "Word Association," sometimes known as "Word Association Football."

Like many elementary school nerds in the seventies, my friend Dave W and I would sit in study hall and try to transcribe Python bits. (Lotsa people did this, right?) (Right?) Inevitably, he would hear different things than I would, and write them down, and I would write down the things I would hear, and then we'd share them with each other and go, "Oh! So that's what Balls Pond Road means!" and so forth.

It took us half a semester to dissected this piece...

"Word Association Football" is a confusing word-play (Dave W would say "it's not confusing to me!") monologue spoken by John Cleese. It's meant to be a simple speech about free association of words and phrases, but, as he's reciting it, Cleese begins to digress from his speech, free associating the very words and phrases he speaks (the famous explorer.) And to add to the confusion ("it's not confusing to me!" ~ D.W.) Cleese begins associating more words and phrases on top of the words and phrases he's already associating, and more on top of that etc etc etc...

Dave W and I narrowed it down and trimmed away the digressions and associations, and found the core of Cleese's intended speech, which is transcribed below in bold black type. We then decided -- in 9th grade speech class -- that he (Dave) would give the straightforward version of the speech in front of the class, and I would get up after him and give the same speech only this time with Cleese's digressions and associations intact, as illustrated below in coloured annotations.

That was our plan anyway.

Just to be safe, we asked our teacher Mr Schubert ahead of time if we could do this, and he responded -- without even looking up from whatever work he was doing -- and said, "If you wanna do sketches, join Mrs Carlson's drama class..." So we never got to do it.

(click to enlarge)

By the way, Dave W is now a successful lawyer and father of two, while I'm still transcribing Python skits on a stupid blog. He probably doesn't even remember any of this. Ask him if you see him. (On second thought, don't. He might just charge you for his time.)

Where many a selfish bastard has been kicked.

A Gem from the Previous Record

As read by Eric Idle on Monty Python's Previous Record, these brief advertisements are pure Eric. The first one always made me laugh. Still does. The second one, Funerals at Prestatyn, had to grow on me. As a younger chap, aged 11 or 12, I couldn't always decipher what the English lads were saying. I always thought Eric said, "... and our fee at 8.50, we'll be at your door within 10 minutes..." thinking the joke was, this funeral service is so cut rate, that if you wave 8 pounds 50p at them, they'll be at your door within ten minutes. Then when I saw my first Fiat 850 and realized that was in fact the vehicle of choice that Eric planned to use to pick up said certified stiff, well... his version was way funnier than mine. I still don't know what the last line of this bit means: "Danish and Scandinavian books see everything?" Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

Fiat 850

Why is it that so many of Britain's top goalies feel moved to write about the Yangtse?

A section of a 1915 map of Yangtze Valley. From Wikimedia Commons.

When I set out to create this blog, my plan was to write about the Monty Python record album catalogue -- which in my opinion has not received enough attention in other, more official biographies and documentaries -- and to comment on each album, in order, from the album cover graphics to the sketches within the grooves to the differences between the audio versions and the televisual versions... and so on.

I got as far as part of side one of the first album.

I feel like the Harry Baggitt character from the Summarize Proust Competition sketch on The Monty Python Instant Record Collection LP: "... as you can see on the Proust-Ometer, he only got as far as Swann's Way, the first of the ten volumes..."

A good try, though, and very nice posture...

But, like Harry Baggitt, my doctor has encouraged me to stick with this (as well as my other hobbies, which, among others, includes golf.)

Instead of following the albums in order, I have decided to jump around as the mood hits me. This will mix things up for me (and my at least two readers) and keep it interesting. Then, when I've written everything there is possibly to write (six, seven, eight years from now, at this rate) I'll gather them all together and put them in chronological order.

Like today I heard a football fight song and it reminded me of the Yangtse Kiang sketch from Monty Python's Previous Record. So I'd like to comment on that, forthwith and all.

Monty Python's Previous Record released in 1972. "Not this record! Not this record!"

We Love The Yangtse.

The Yangtse Kiang sketch appears on Side Two of Monty Python's Previous Record, the third album in the Python oeuvre. It is an original sketch, not culled from the television episodes. It begins with a beautiful, swirling orchestra (according to the liner notes of the CD edition of this album, the music is called "Beachy Head" composed by one R. Cornford and published by Studio G Music, although a search of their online music library turned up nothing. We are about forty years on from the recording of this album, so... for what it's worth. A good try though, and very nice posture.) Over the music is heard the voice of Terry Jones, as if introducing a travelogue programme:

I must admit, as a twelve year old -- or however old I was when I first bought this album -- I didn't get the Yangtse Kiang sketch. I didn't quite follow the logic, or illogic of it all: UK football stars praising a river in China? Oh, now I get it.

There's nothing to get, of course. It's silly. It's Python. One of Python's styles is to combine styles: in this case, a geography documentary is combined with a sport documentary, with quotes from the players (football goalies) as well as sport commentators.

So it begins like a National Geographic special, with the aforementioned music and the "serious" voiceover narrator. Serious to the point where it switches to a sport documentary:

JONES:

Yangtse Kiang. The Great Yellow River. Which, from time immemorial, has fascinated and tantalized the hearts and minds of men from all corners of the earth... 
(i.e.) Bob Wilson, Arsenal:

And there's the switch. Suddenly the show becomes a "summing up from the team" interview. Except, these goalies, so moved by the beauty of the subject matter, have all, apparently at one time or another, written poetry about the Yangtse:

"A wondrous river;

Her broad banks a-swelling;

Home to a race

Of fish."

~ Bob Wilson: Arsenal

voiced by Graham Chapman

* * *

"Oh Yangtse!

Oh Yangtse!

Beautiful river!

River full

Of fish!"

~ Peter Shilton: Leicester

voiced by Eric Idle

* * *

"Yangtse Kiang

River of the Eastern dream;

Teeming with carp, and perch,

And trout, and

Bream."

~ Sprake: Leeds United

voiced by John Cleese

The sketch is now a Python-Hybrid: what am I listening to? A documentary on the Yangtse River? Or a Sports Program about Football? Why, it's both! 

Our announcer, Terry Jones, introduces some experts to the panel: First, former footballer and then-manager of Leeds United, Brian Clough...

JONES:
"Why is it that so many of Britains' top goalies feel moved to write about the Yangtse? Brian Clough?"

Brian Clough: voiced by Eric Idle

"Well, you must remember, David, er, that these, er, goalies -- especially Wilson, and on occasion Gorden West of Everton -- are romantics, er, they're dreamers, er, the Yangtse's a symbol for them, er, for them it evokes, er, David, a temple as well as a, er, spiritual continuity."

Gorden West of Everton: A dreamer; a romantic... on occasion.

Next up: Former Scottish footballer and later manager for Liverpool, Bill Shankley offers his views on Britain's goalies-turned-river-poets...

Bill Shankley: voiced by Michael Palin

"Oi, it's a... a river of many moods! To a young goalie like Peter Shilton of Leicester, the Yangtse is a beautiful river; but to a more seasoned goalie, like Phil Parkes of Wolves, it's a river of regret, of disillusioned ambition... and I think this is good."

Phil Parkes of Wolves: to whom the Yangtse perhaps symbolizes regret and disillusioned ambition.

MORE TO COME...

Why Another Monty Python Blog?

Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time, by Angelo Bronzino, 1545.
Look closely at the bottom left corner, above the dove. It's the foot of Cupid, but it's more famously known as 
The Monty Python foot used in the opening title sequence of their TV series, and on the album cover of their first LP.

Yes, why indeed another Monty Python blog? Well, because this one is going to focus on the group's albums. The recorded works of Monty Python are often overlooked or given very little attention in proper biographies and documentaries and such. I've heard tell that there exists a radio program about the very subject of Python Records called Monty Python's Wonderful World of Sound -- a title taken from a cut off their third LP Monty Python's Previous Record -- which aired on BBC Radio a couple of years ago, but which I have been unable to find on the internet. Oh, I've found references to it and links to it, but no streaming or downloadable files as such. So I haven't actually heard it.

No. My research is done by having listened to and memorized every groove of every Monty Python record since about 1977. When I was a kid, I would more or less study these albums. Geek that I was (is?) (am?) I was listening to comedy albums while all my friends were listening to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin and Rush. Comedy records were and are (is?) (am?) of great interest to me, and at one time in my life I probably had over 500 of them in my vinyl record collection. Today I have maybe 200 or so, maybe 300 if I count the CDs.

But of these 200 (or maybe 300 or so if I count the CDs), I'm only going to focus on about ten or twelve of them here in this blog: The Monty Python LPs. Of course, I plan to cover all of the original Python LPs, that is to say, those that are not collections or reissues, rather their original planned releases. Like the Beatles, there are probably more Monty Python collections out there than there were original releases. But if this blog goes well and holds my interest -- as well as that of the two or one other people who are likely to read it -- then I'll get into the re-issues, the greatest hits collections, the best-of's and the infamous, never-released Hastily Cobbled Together For a Quick Buck bootleg(s).

But first, a word or two about who Monty Python even is (are?) (was?) (am?)

Ohnotthemagain!

Monty Python has been written about many many many many many many many times before. But for the novice who may have happened across this blog by chance, which happens often here in blogdom, here's a brief introduction to the group who created the brilliant comedy albums I wish to discuss in this blog.

From left: Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, John Cleese. 
a.k.a Monty Python.

First of all, Monty Python -- not unlike Jethro Tull or Toad The Wet Sprocket -- is a group often mistaken for an individual. (Oh by the way, which one's Monty?) They are indeed six men from mostly England. Gilliam is the lone American in the group. In the 1960s, all of them worked in the London television industry as writers or performers or both. Their paths crossed here and there and at one time or another they had all worked together. Admirers of each others work, sometime around 1969 they decided to team up and do a television series of their own. They eventually came up with a sketch comedy show and called it Monty Python's Flying Circus, for no better reason than they liked the way it sounded. As it happens so often in television, nobody expected the show to last more than a few episodes, or one season at the most. After about five or six episodes, however, it begat a following. And after thirteen episodes, it was renewed for a second season, and grew from there. The TV series, back in the days before home-video, spawned a soundtrack album, also called Monty Python's Flying Circus, and a feature film entitled And Now For Something Completely Different, both made up of favorite sketches from the first season of the TV show.

From there it grew even more. Charisma Records in England agreed to release more albums, and PBS in America began to run the TV show. By then (1974-75) a second, more proper film was in the works, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a comedic retelling of sorts of the Legend of King Arthur and His Knights of the Round Table. The Grail film and the TV show in America shot them to superstardom, and they went on to make more TV episodes and more movies, and more live concerts, and more live concerts made into moves and... best of all, more albums.

Good Evening, Record Lovers...

These are the first few words spoken by Graham Chapman on Side Two of Monty Python's first album, the self-titled Monty Python's Flying Circus. Despite the lack of visual elements, Theatre of the Mind tells us -- by his tone of voice, his air of authority, and his command to "Stand at ease!" -- that Graham is in his famous peremptory Army Colonel guise. That and the fact that he introduces himself as "The GOC Commanding Southern Area Relief Force with Special Responsibility for Any Waxings or Mechanical Reproductions of Any Kind," (followed immediately by a stern, "Don't snicker, Pearson!") (Apparently Pearson found it humorous when The Colonel said "reproductions.")  (*snicker*) 

Graham Chapman
as the Colonel from
the television series

Anyway, the so-called G.O.C.C.S.A.R.F.w/S.R.A.W.M.R.A.K., is there, in fact, to demonstrate how stereophonics work, first by walking from "this speaker here," and through the stereo image to "that speaker over there." Trouble is, Monty Python's Flying Circus was recorded and released only in mono. There's no stereo image at all, you see. Granted, Graham's voice gets further from the mic as he walks to "that speaker over there," but he undoubtedly can be heard in both speakers. "It don't work!"
Was that the joke? A stereo test on a monaural recording? Could be. It is, after all, Monty Python, and therefore... silly. 
A more interesting story exists that the Pythons had originally scripted The Colonel sketch to work in true stereo, and, only discovered in the eleventh hour, i.e. recording day, that the album was going to be issued only in mono.

An excerpt from Michael Palin's diary:

"The record, we were told, was to be done extremely cheaply, we were not going to have it in stereo, we could not afford to pay any copyright for the use of our invaluable music links -- so it was all done on organ, which reduced everything to the level of tatty amateur dramatics."

So perhaps the Stereophonic Test was supposed to be real, but you know what? When I first heard this record -- in my friend Paul's basement, circa age twelve -- I still found it funny. To me the bit was not lost because the stereo test didn't work. I thought it was intentional that it didn't work. It was Python after all. It was meant to be silly. Which made Graham's closing statement that if the test indeed failed, "See me after!" all the funnier.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here. That all happened on Side Two of the album. Let's go back to the beginning...

Monty Python's Flying Circus Front Cover

Monty Python's Flying Circus

BBC Records #REB 73M

Copyright BBC London W.1. 1970

Produced by Ian McNaughton

Incidental Music by Anthony Foster

Chorus: The Fred Tomlinson Singers

Extra Sound Effects by Harry Morris

Sleeve Design by Terry Gilliam

Now, in most cases, there are (at least) two different versions of every Monty Python record: a UK version and a US version (probably many other countries too, but this blog is only concerning itself with the UK and US versions.) Sometimes the differences are minuscule, sometimes they're quite drastic. Well, perhaps drastic is too... drastic of a term. After all, their just comedy records. What I should have said is that sometimes the differences are big, sometimes they're littler. Either way I suck at writing.

Terry Gilliam, circa 1974,
in a scene from
Monty Python and the Holy Grail

In the case of Monty Python's Flying Circus, the differences between the UK version and the US version are in the littler category. Content-wise they are identical. That is, both albums contain the same tracks and they run in the same order. The sleeves and the labels, however, are different. In both cases, the copyright holder is indeed the BBC (the British Broadcasting Corporation) and both are released by BBC Records (the record division of the British Broadcasting Corporation) part of BBC Enterprises (the parent company of the British Broadcasting Corporation), London England. In the case of the UK version, the album was distributed by PYE Records, England. The US version was distributed by ATV Records Incorporated, New York New York under a license to PYE Records, England. So you see, there are a lot of fingers in this... PYE. (*heh-heh*) (I told you I suck at writing.)

But the littler differences don't stop there, oh no. There are also two more versions, i.e. the original, and the reissue(s). Again the content is the same, only the packaging is different. The album cover shown above is from the original release of Monty Python's Flying Circus, with a sleeve design by Terry Gilliam, the American Python, a.k.a. the visual Python. He's the one who did all the animations on the TV series and in the movies.
Gilliam originally designed a wraparound cover for the Monty Python's Flying Circus album, that is to say the image on the front cover continued onto the back cover, giving the complete package a consistent look, fit and feel about it. The original back cover is shown below:

Monty Python's Flying Circus Back Cover

Gilliam carried over the string-tag concept from the front to the back, as well as the airbrushed gray-sky and yellow-ground elements. Within the tags are printed actual critiques from the era (circa 1970) from such publications as The Sun, The Washington Post, The Morning Star, The Observer, and The Daily Telegraph. There's also some fine print, down by the copyright information, stating that:

"Delicacies such as Crunchy Frog, Cockroach Clusters, Anthrax Ripples, and Frozen Albatross On A Stick mentioned on this record are probably obtainable from Monty Python Enterprises." 

They weren't. Probably. Most of these delicacies were, in fact, candies mentioned in the Side One Track Three skit entitled Trade Description Act, which, over the years became better known as the Crunchy Frog sketch. The Frozen Albatross On A Stick is in reference to the Side Two Track Four skit entitled The Cinema.

The Issue of Reissue. After a record stops selling well, they usually pull it from the market, or sometimes reissue it as a budget release, tantamount to a book coming out in papperbok, I suppose. This happened to Monty Python's Flying Circus. It ran it's course and the BBC pulled it off the market once it stopped being profitable. In the meantime, or during the meanwhilst, the Pythons went on to do a second season of their TV series... and another... and another... for the BBC, but chose to bypass the Beeb when it came time to do another album... and another... etc. Once they became a viable record selling machine, BBC wisely decided to reissue the first album.

I'm not sure why they decided to change Terry Gilliam's original graphics this time around, but they did. They kept the basic Foot-of-Cupid-Stomping-Through-The-TV-Set art, but changed the placement of the title, and removed the tag "WARNING! THIS ALBUM IS ORIGINAL MATERIAL FROM THE TV SERIES." It's possible that the reissue came out after the series had run it's course (circa 1974) and to advertise it as a soundtrack to a defunct TV show may have led to them removing said tag, but at the bottom of the new release, it still says, "From the BBC Television Series."

Reissue of Monty Python's Flying Circus Front Cover

I do know the reprinted cover was done very cheaply, as they just blocked-out the old yellow Warning! tag and replaced it with a white box with black lettering overprinted on it. Overprinting is a money-saving printing process, where they keep the multi-colored image from the earlier version and just print any new information using only black ink. This saves them from printing all new, full-color covers.

This is obviously what they did with the new back cover, too. They just threw away Terry Gilliam's original back cover with the multi-colored string tags and airbrushed clouds wrapping around from the front. Just threw it all away! And replaced it with...

Reissue of Monty Python's Flying Circus Back Cover

... nothing! Virtually nothing at all. Just a white back cover with black text. Oh, okay, they kinda drew a string tag in the upper left hand corner, and used the fancy Pythonesque Calliope font for the title, and kept the lame "The Worst Of" joke, but short of that, there's literally no design to it. It may as well be a newspaper: three columns of type, black and white and read all over. Word for word all the text remains from the original cover, including the real critiques and the sur-real "Crunchy Frog Probably Available..." delicacies verbiage. But clearly this cover was done in the name of saving money. The only thing cheaper than one color printing is no-color printing, and The Beatles already did that with an album cover in 1968.

More to come. Where's the PUBLISH button on this blogspot...? Oh here it

MPFC : The Content

Enough about the packaging, let us go inside the actual record sleeve, to the actual record itself, (actually).

The Camden Theatre in 2009,
home of the night club Koko.
Photo by Ewan Munro, c/o flickr.com

This first album was recorded on 2 May, 1970, on a Saturday afternoon in Camden Town, a commercial district in Greater London. The Pythons started to arrive at the Camden Theatre around 10:00am to prepare for the 4:30pm recording in front of a small audience of not-necessarily fans.

From Michael Palin's diary entry that day:

"Spent the morning in the rather attractive Camden Theatre -- a fairly small theatre, with Atlases supporting enormous mock columns and a rather luxurious intimacy about the atmosphere -- reading through the scripts, briefing the sound effects men. Somehow, one felt, this should have been done sooner."

Palin, for one, liked the fact that there was an audience there to play off of. Having started his show business career onstage at university -- as did most, if not all, of the Pythons -- working to a live audience encouraged immediate feedback as to how well or not a joke had gone over. I imagine this must have played out that afternoon in Camden Town much like an old time radio program, with the six actors on stage reading from scripts into microphones, not in costume and not worried about lighting and camera blocking and backgrounds; just concentrating on the material, as it were, with the help of the aforementioned sound effects men to audibly assist in creating the setting (a small, tinkling bell as a door opens, signifies someone entering a shop, for instance).

Certain other Pythons, however, had imagined the setting to be different: they didn't want a live audience. They wanted to perform in a secluded studio, where the sound was better controlled and they could do a second take if they muffed a line or something, and afterwards the sound effects could be meticulously added to create a nice, clean, audio version of their best sketches. In fact, that is how their subsequent albums were created. Terry Jones was one Python who disagreed with the performing for a live audience approach:

(Citation needed... I'll be right back. I have to find an old magazine I think have someplace wherein Terry Jones is quoted...) (I don't know who I'm talking to, nobody's reading this blog anyway...)

 SIDE ONE

The track listings on Monty Python records have never been anything more than a rough guide at best. There's so much silliness and little bits strewn throughout a Python recording that tracking everything would be nearly impossible, though I will try my best within this blog. I will start with the listing as given on the record label itself, and then editorialize as I discuss each track. Many of the subsequent Python albums, however, don't even have track listings. In fact, the Matching Tie and Handkerchief album says "Side 2" on both sides! And the third album, Monty Python's Previous Record has all the track listings for both sides on Side 1, due to the fact that Side 2's label is filled with a rambling diatribe by "A Harley Street Dentist" about how much nicer it is to write the list of contents for a comedy record than it is to poke around inside people's mouths all day. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here. We're still on the first album, Monty Python's Flying Circus. The track listing on this album is probably the most straightforward of any of their releases, and Side 1 goes something like this:

(1) Flying Sheep

(2) Television Interviews

(3) Trade Description Act

(4) Nudge Nudge

(5) The Mouse Problem

(6) Buying a Bed

(7) Interesting People

(8) The Barber

(9) Interviews

This is pretty much a correct and direct listing of the contents of Side 1, but, say you were looking for The Lumberjack Song. It's indeed on Side 1, but it's not listed separately, rather it is part of Track 8, The Barber. Nowadays The Lumberjack Song stands alone as a classic Python bit, but remember, when this record came out in 1970, The Lumberjack Song was nothing more than the ending to a sketch about a psychotic barber, with shades of Sweeney Todd.

I hope to clarify things like that as this blog goes on (and on and on and on...)

A more detailed track listing of Side 1 might look something like this:

(1) Flying Sheep
    (1a) Flying Sheep Sketch
    (1b) French Interpretation (Le Pouf Celebre)
    (1c) Pepperpots Vox Populi (on French Philosophers)
(2) Television Interviews
    (2a) Link Announcer (And now for something completely different...)
    (2b) Arthur Frampton : The Man With Three Buttocks
(3) Trade Description Act
    (3a) Crunchy Frog Sketch
    (3b) Superintendent Parrot Summing Up
(4) Nudge Nudge
(5) The Mouse Problem
    (5a) Mouse Problem Documentary
    (5b) Man-in-the-Street Vox Populi (on Mice Men)
(6) Buying a Bed
(7) Interesting People
(8) The Barber

    (8a) Barber Shop Sketch

    (8b) Lumberjack Song
    (8c) Letter of Protest / Art Critic Links

    (8d) Art Critic Sketch (The Place of The Nude in the History of Art)
(9) Interviews
    (9a) It's The Arts (Opening Announcement)
    (9b) Sir Edward ("Ed" "Ted" "Eddie Baby") Ross Interview
    (9c) End of Side 1

So you see, by the more detailed account, that the Lumberjack Song and the Art Critic Sketch are not even noted in the original track listing. Ohwhatagiveaway!